Danger Danger

This past week has been a mix of ups and downs.  As I blissfully indulge in the perks of being at home, I also face momentary spurts of panic, such as when I realized I was running out of pages in my passport, or that I had a flight to Bangkok, but not to Chiang Mai where I ultimately have to end up.

It feels that every person I share my plans with looks at me with concern, eyebrows caving in, bowing down to look me straight in the eye and says, “You are so brave.”  Ummmm, I think, am I walking into something I don’t know about?

Is there a monster at the Bangkok airport there to snatch me with his talons?  Am I going to a place in shambles, facing gruesome war-zone damage?  Am I entering a black hole? As far as I know, the answer is none of the above.  While sure, this trip freaks me out because I will be alone and it is all new cultures and traditions, those are also the reasons why I am so excited to take this trip.  I can have a slight panic attack that I don’t know the traditional Thai way to say hello or eat my food, but after taking a few deep breaths and reassuring myself that I will figure it out, I feel fine.  Someone heading to Haiti, Iraq, Libya- they are brave.  I am giving myself an extended vacation to run around and learn things and meet new people.  Is there anything better?

I understand that those who call me brave are doing so in admiration.  Maybe they would not take this trip, or maybe they think they couldn’t.  I quite honestly do not know why I feel confident jumping into this alone.  I am not a terribly adventurous person.  I admire those who are: the people who will go paragliding or get off at the wrong stop just to erase a plan.  I think I am just brave enough to trust myself not to do anything too stupid.

Finally last night I received very different feedback when I met up with former travel buddies Elissa and Kesha.  “How long are you going for?” Kesha asked me.  “3-5 months,” I said.  “Oh,” she replied, “that’s nothing!”  I lit up and laughed to myself.  That is how I had felt at the start of this all.  Now, I feel like I am heading to Never Never Land.

With 5 days left at home, I am 99% packed, my passport has new pages, I have purchased all of my flights and I have every possible medication/toiletry that I will need, probably for the next year.  As my anxiety sets in, so does my excitement.  I can’t wait for all the stories I will have to share.



One response to “Danger Danger

  1. Eve,
    You are going to have a fantastic trip full of adventure and discovery. Looking forward to hearing about all of it.


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